Sunday, February 18, 2007

Sigh

We just got back from church. I can not even tell you how stressed out I am after going to mass. I am so much worse for wear after mass than before I went. I love my kids, but an hour mass with a long homily by Monsegnieur was not a good mix with my children today. I was really thinking I might, just might, actually be able to reflect on the readings today as well as on the homily. I was too naive I guess.

No sooner than Monsegnieur started speaking, my children went insane. All I heard through his homily, which I must presume was inspiring and reflective, was "Mommy... I want a drink! Mommy, William took my helicopter! Mommy, when can we go?" That was the constant refrain in our pew until after communion. They went up to the front with me to get communion (me, not them; they just walked to the front with me) and I thought perhaps I could pray a little and reflect before the mass ended. No way, Jose. Not on your life. Despite my wonderful brother-in-law being there to help with the kids, they were still being annoying. Yes, I know they're little, but geez, I am just at my whit's end with them right now. Robin ushers and I basically told him he needed to stop because I just can.not.handle.all.the.kids.for.an.hour.during.mass!

I get so darn stressed because I don't want the kids to be noisey and disrupt others who are at mass, but I just can't do it all by myself. Jeff is great, but the kids are always getting loud and only mommy can seem to get them quiet. ~sigh~


I feel so guilty asking Robin to stop ushering because I know he likes to do it and it definitely was something we felt happy to do for the Church, but I.just.can't.handle.the.kids.at.mass.and.stay.sane.

When will it get better? Seriously?
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3 comments:

Jill said...

I don't usually recommend bribery, but a cookie promised after services for quiet children can do wonders sometimes...

Sorry it was tough. It does get better. The older they get, the more they voice their complaints *before* arriving at services & keep them to themselves during the actual service.

12:07 PM
Crafty P said...

oh, we know this scenario all too well and I'm afraid we're going to be headed in a whole new direction soon!

okay, I don't think you're asking too much of Robin, first of all. His first responsibility is to you and the kids, so it will be a sacrifice for him, but could he usher at a different time and then go to mass with all of you as a family?

second, this is so simple to do and it will help you loads while you're at mass... read the readings before you go. That way when you do go and can't hear b/c this one wants this and that one is throwing a fit over that, you won't feel so 'cheated' with your time.

The boys are still young, my dear, so you can't expect miracles out of them. AND they are boys- it's just sooooo hard for them. We do offer incentives for good behavior, on occasion, but also take into consideration other factors that may contribute to their behavior.

Be consistent--- this too shall pass.

one last thing... it was helpful for Vinny and I, at times, to let one of us stay for a few moments after mass was over to have a moment of reflection while the other spouse took the kids to the car. Just a few quiet moments could do wonders for me and I felt renewed to face what was ahead.

I've written a novella, but I so know what you're going through, F.

11:25 PM
Anonymous said...

Now remember that I'm Presbyterian, so things might be different for me, F, but my kids have "church bags". Each of them have little quiet toys that only get played with at church - things like little plastic dinosaurs and farm animals, a small tic tac toe game, coloring books and crayons, and I have these *great* folder games - a Noah's ark animal game, a Garden of Eden game, a melon counting game...They have pieces that velcro to the folders and the can literally keep Mallory occupied the entire service. Let me know if you want me to dig out the directions - they took a good bit of time to make, but have been worth their weight in gold! Oh, and us Presbyterian's snack too - we snack on goldfish crackers, we snack on pretzels, and we snack on fruit snacks, and I don't worry about making a mess, because I'm also our church custodian!

It does get better, F - but I can totally relate to the disappointment of leaving the service feeling like I haven't heard a single word of the sermon!

Hugs,
Marissa

2:08 PM

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